Reducing Stress, Self-Regulation & Balancing the Sensitive Nervous System
Today I am talking about the highly sensitive nervous system, why sensitive women are more prone to stress, overwhelm and burnout, and how we can reduce these challenges in a sustainable way through balancing the nervous system and self-regulation.
I will also be sharing:
my thoughts on survival vs safety (the sympathetic vs parasympathetic functions of the nervous system)
how survival and safety correspond to our masculine and feminine energy
why sensitive women need to lean into their feminine side to create balance and wellness
The sensitive nervous system
Highly Sensitive people are more prone to stress than those who are less sensitive. This is because we have a more finely tuned nervous system - we are more sensitive to our environments, take in more information and process that information more deeply.
Research has shown that Highly Sensitive People have more activity in the region of their brain that corresponds to the fight, flight or freeze response, known as the Amygdala. This is the sympathetic part of the Nervous System - the part that helps us to survive when we are in danger.
So we have a more sensitive and more active stress response.
When we are in a stress state we become more vigilant, our breathing becomes shallow, our body sends more oxygen to our muscles (which is why stress causes muscle tension), our heart rate, blood pressure and blood sugar all increase and energy is diverted away from less immediate functions such as digestion and healing.
Why sensitive women are more prone to stress and burnout
When we are stressed out, we are in survival mode. This is the sympathetic function of the nervous system. I also think of this as masculine mode, because this is the side of the nervous system that is protective and survival oriented - to me this is a more yang or masculine energy and therefore I see it as the masculine side of the nervous system.
On the other side, we have the parasympathetic side of the nervous system - or what is known as “rest and digest”. This is when we are in a relaxed state, and this is what I think of as “safety mode” or feminine mode, because this has a more yin, nurturing, nourishing feminine energy.
Women’s bodies are not meant to stay in masculine mode or survival mode - doing, pushing, fighting, surviving. Especially when we have a sensitive nervous system. Women are designed for feminine mode - nourishment, relaxation, pleasure, receiving - we need plenty of rest and enjoyment - to stay balanced and happy. And how I think of it is that highly sensitive women need even more time in feminine mode - just as they need more self-care than those who are less sensitive.
So what is burnout? Burnout is basically what happens when we are giving more than we are receiving. When we are spending too much time in Masculine mode, constantly doing, pushing, achieving and giving, and we are not balancing that out with enough time in Feminine mode. Time to just be and rest and heal. This results in an imbalanced nervous system and an unhappy feminine spirit and ultimately will have a negative impact on our health and happiness.
Neuroplasticity and the nervous system
The interesting thing about the nervous system, is that it doesn’t actually know the difference between a perceived threat and a “real” threat. So, in other words, if we think or believe we are in danger, even if there is no real danger in our environment (such as the proverbial Tiger about to eat us), our nervous system responds in the same way - preparing us to fight, flight or freeze. So our bodies are not actually designed to deal with modern day chronic stress, they are designed for short-term, temporary stressors.
The other important thing about the nervous system, is that it is adaptable, it is plastic - this is known as neuroplasticity. This also means that the nervous system is habitual. Whatever neural pathways are most commonly activated in our nervous system, these are the ones that become ingrained in us, and this becomes our default or go-to way of responding. This is why we tend to develop certain patterns of thinking, feeling and behavior.
So, what this means is, if we experience a lot of stress continuously, over time this becomes a habit - it becomes a very familiar way for the nervous system to respond.
Another way to think about it is that our sympathetic and parasympathetic sides of our nervous system, or as I think of it - our masculine and feminine sides - are like muscles. When we use them they become stronger and more agile. If one side is stronger we will tend to favor and use it more and more, and the opposite side becomes weaker.
The good thing is, the adaptability of our nervous system also means that we can change our patterns if they are not really serving us - so with consistent practice, we can build up strength in those less active neural pathways.
How to balance the nervous system
So, how can we balance our nervous system and reduce stress, overwhelm and burnout?
How can we retrain our nervous system to more easily access states of relaxation, rejuvenation and healing - how can we lean more into our safety mode?
Simply put, this is about relaxing. Softening and relaxing.
As you’ve probably heard before, it’s important to regularly practice relaxation and mindfulness. Another term for this is self-regulation, which is basically self-soothing or intentionally bringing ourselves back into balance. When we are stressed, using tools to intentionally switch into a relaxed state - our stress centers and safety centers do not activate at the same time.
And if we do this regularly, we are retraining the nervous system.
The most simple and powerful tool is using the breath, and the fact that humans can breathe consciously is powerful. When we breath slowly and deeply this actually signals to the brain that it’s safe and we can relax.
I like to do 3-5 breaths where the exhale is twice as long as the inhale - Breathing in for a count of 4 - holding for 4 - and exhaling for a count of 8.
Other ways include meditation & visualization, yoga, gentle exercise and massage (including self-massage).
The way we begin our day is also very important because it sets the tone for the rest of our day - so make sure you have a slow, supportive morning routine.
I have a free guide on morning routines for sensitive women, as well as a free relaxation meditation designed to help you reduce overwhelm and balance the nervous system.
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